I heard on the radio today about a book coming out soon. The title escapes me right now, but the book is a compilation of letters written by various celebrities and other people to their 16-year-old selves. The DJ asked what we would say if we were to write such a letter. Here is what I would say:
Dear 16-year-old Self,
I know you think you're on top of the world right now and that life couldn't get much better. Hold on to that feeling, but know - deep down - that it can (and will) get better.
Cherish your friends. Some will stay in your life, but many will go down different roads, and some will leave you. Take nothing for granted.
Yes...right now you DO know your husband. Be nice to that sweet Cooper boy and try to remember all the times he called and those socks he bought you for Christmas. He's a little sore about that...
Your yearning to be accepted will be a lifelong battle you fight. Stop wasting time making sure your clothes, hair, makeup, and possessions are perfect. They aren't. They won't ever be. And even if they were it wouldn't be enough.
School is easy for you now. But, try to learn to study. You will need it in college.
Yes, your car is "reliable." Which in teenager speak means that it's not very pretty. Hang on. In about 7 years, you'll get the chance to buy one you like. But remember...this one's on your dime.
Mom and Dad aren't as dumb as you think they are. One day, you too will be saying "Were you born in a barn," "Money doesn't grow on trees," "Don't let the bought air out," and "Call me when you get there." One day, they will be two of your best friends and you will actually enjoy hanging out with them! I know, right!! The protected will become the protector and your roles will change greatly over the years, but you will one day thank them for the lessons they taught you.
Above all, remember that in all of life's crazy changes, there is one constant. God will never leave you or forsake you. You'll take Him for granted many times, but He's still there. Remember true worship stems from gratitude and a humble heart. Nothing you have is yours. Nothing you've done have you done on your own. God has given you amazing family, friends, talents, and abilities. Always use them for His glory.
Sincerely,
Your THIRTY-year-old-self.
(Yes, you will live to see 30 - and it really isn't THAT old!)
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
I'm Still Learning
I'm a teacher. Well, I guess I used to be a teacher. As a teacher, nothing would frustrate me more than students missing opportunities to learn.
Welllll, the pot's calling the kettle black today.
I've been doing a Bible Study called "Women Making A Difference in Marriage." This Bible Study follows on the heels of me reading the book called "Finding the Hero in Your Husband." Add that to "The Excellent Wife," and countless other books I've been reading on marriage.
In all honesty, all these books have left me frustrated. And a bit mad. I didn't understand why. Until today.
A few weeks ago, the Men's Ministry at our church handed out bookmarks to all wives. The bookmarks said "How to Pray for Your Husband." The man that handed me mine said, "Here. You really need this." It was a joke. I know it was a joke. BUT...it made me mad. I DO pray for my husband. And, I don't NEED a bookmark to do it.
The whole situation left me angry. Why is it that the women have to do everything to save marriages. Where are the men in our families? Why do I have to be the first to make the changes so that my husband will follow suite? (I'm not a bit over dramatic, if you can't tell).
Today I woke up, made some coffee, and checked Facebook. (All in a day's work in this household). A friend of mine posted an awesome article from 31 Ministries.
In the article, the woman talks about the unrealistic expectations she had placed on her husband and how it inevitably suffocated, not only him, but their marriage as well.
She says, "Hoping to create my own version of “happily-ever-after,” I became controlling and critical. I thought if I could get JJ to be the husband and dad I wanted him to be, my broken dreams would get put back together."
Yup...that's it. That's how I feel. If Daniel could just get his act together; we'd be fine. (I hope he doesn't read this....)
And then she says, "I also needed to confess my sin of unrealistic expectations and let go of what I thought was my right to “happily-ever-after.”"
Woah...hold the phone. The "SIN" of unrealistic expectations?? I didn't see that coming at all. Wow. This must be more serious than I thought. And it hit me. I'm putting all the pressure of our marriage on Daniel so I don't have to face up to my own inadequacies, hurts, and faults. It's "easier" than having to deal with it.
I need to be able to come to the place where I realize my expectations are too great; too unrealistic and I learn to turn to God to fulfill those places of my life. I still don't know exactly how to do that, but I understand now that I'm not being fair to my husband, or myself, by pretending those places are designed to be fulfilled by man.
Instead, I want this:
"I was also able to accept JJ for who he was and trust God to make him the husband He knew I needed, instead of the one I wanted."
Well, this pot has finally decided to take advantage of this opportunity to learn. I've been struggling with my unrealistic expectations; not only of my husband, but of my motherhood, and my life in general. And guess what? Others fail me ALL THE TIME.
It's going to be hard. I'm not good at this. Nope, not at all. But God is, and lucky for me...He's bigger than this and He's never failed me yet!
So now, it's out there. It's in blogger world and I've confessed my sin of unrealistic expectations to God and cyber space (and to my husband!). So that means I have to do something about it....I have people to be accountable to now.
So, where do I start?? My Mom always told me to start small; with one thing. I remember reading in a marital counseling pamphlet (a long time ago...) that whenever you are tempted to get annoyed by your spouse because of something they've done; (aka - left their socks on the floor next to the hamper, etc.) use the opportunity to instead be thankful that that person is in your life. I may find myself grumbling "I'm thankful, I'm thankful" as I pick up socks, etc. BUT, it will get easier. It will get to the point that I pick up a pair of socks and smile as I think about the man that fills those socks and where he is and what he's doing right then. May I remember to pray for him and to be thankful for him in ALL circumstances.
Welllll, the pot's calling the kettle black today.
I've been doing a Bible Study called "Women Making A Difference in Marriage." This Bible Study follows on the heels of me reading the book called "Finding the Hero in Your Husband." Add that to "The Excellent Wife," and countless other books I've been reading on marriage.
In all honesty, all these books have left me frustrated. And a bit mad. I didn't understand why. Until today.
A few weeks ago, the Men's Ministry at our church handed out bookmarks to all wives. The bookmarks said "How to Pray for Your Husband." The man that handed me mine said, "Here. You really need this." It was a joke. I know it was a joke. BUT...it made me mad. I DO pray for my husband. And, I don't NEED a bookmark to do it.
The whole situation left me angry. Why is it that the women have to do everything to save marriages. Where are the men in our families? Why do I have to be the first to make the changes so that my husband will follow suite? (I'm not a bit over dramatic, if you can't tell).
Today I woke up, made some coffee, and checked Facebook. (All in a day's work in this household). A friend of mine posted an awesome article from 31 Ministries.
In the article, the woman talks about the unrealistic expectations she had placed on her husband and how it inevitably suffocated, not only him, but their marriage as well.
She says, "Hoping to create my own version of “happily-ever-after,” I became controlling and critical. I thought if I could get JJ to be the husband and dad I wanted him to be, my broken dreams would get put back together."
Yup...that's it. That's how I feel. If Daniel could just get his act together; we'd be fine. (I hope he doesn't read this....)
And then she says, "I also needed to confess my sin of unrealistic expectations and let go of what I thought was my right to “happily-ever-after.”"
Woah...hold the phone. The "SIN" of unrealistic expectations?? I didn't see that coming at all. Wow. This must be more serious than I thought. And it hit me. I'm putting all the pressure of our marriage on Daniel so I don't have to face up to my own inadequacies, hurts, and faults. It's "easier" than having to deal with it.
I need to be able to come to the place where I realize my expectations are too great; too unrealistic and I learn to turn to God to fulfill those places of my life. I still don't know exactly how to do that, but I understand now that I'm not being fair to my husband, or myself, by pretending those places are designed to be fulfilled by man.
Instead, I want this:
"I was also able to accept JJ for who he was and trust God to make him the husband He knew I needed, instead of the one I wanted."
Well, this pot has finally decided to take advantage of this opportunity to learn. I've been struggling with my unrealistic expectations; not only of my husband, but of my motherhood, and my life in general. And guess what? Others fail me ALL THE TIME.
It's going to be hard. I'm not good at this. Nope, not at all. But God is, and lucky for me...He's bigger than this and He's never failed me yet!
So now, it's out there. It's in blogger world and I've confessed my sin of unrealistic expectations to God and cyber space (and to my husband!). So that means I have to do something about it....I have people to be accountable to now.
So, where do I start?? My Mom always told me to start small; with one thing. I remember reading in a marital counseling pamphlet (a long time ago...) that whenever you are tempted to get annoyed by your spouse because of something they've done; (aka - left their socks on the floor next to the hamper, etc.) use the opportunity to instead be thankful that that person is in your life. I may find myself grumbling "I'm thankful, I'm thankful" as I pick up socks, etc. BUT, it will get easier. It will get to the point that I pick up a pair of socks and smile as I think about the man that fills those socks and where he is and what he's doing right then. May I remember to pray for him and to be thankful for him in ALL circumstances.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
My New Addiction...
I admit it; I'm addicted to Pinterest. A week ago I'd never even heard of the site. This week? I've been on it everyday. Sometimes multiple times a day. I'm big into justifying my addictions, so here is a list of what I have learned from Pinterest.
I now know how to do my hair thanks to some awesome online tutorials I never would have found without Pinterest. This is big for me. I've never been big on styling my hair and especially in the dreaded "in between" stage I'm in now...I needed some help!
Thanks to Pinterest, I know how to dress. However, I'll never remember all those looks I've "pinned". Do stores let you bring your computer shopping with you? I'm also in love with scarves and found a cool pin with several different ways to tie them. Watch out world...
I have some fantastic recipes and ideas for stuff to do with Will. We made some homemade finger paints for the bathtub tonight. I say paints, I mean paint. We started with one color. And, we borrowed Daddy's shaving cream. Anything to entertain Will! He had a great time and I was pretty pleased to see how happy he was. Didn't have the camera ready; maybe next time!
In about 2 months; I will be hosting the most awesome 2nd birthday party known to Pinterest. Thanks for the culmination of ideas and pictures that got my creative juices going. I'm in full "Sesame Street" mode a full 2 months early...can't wait to blog about that!
Oh, and don't look at my gifts board. Chances are, you could see one in your future!
Have you ever made grilled cheese in your toaster?? I haven't either. But I know how. Thanks, Pinterest!
I now know how to do my hair thanks to some awesome online tutorials I never would have found without Pinterest. This is big for me. I've never been big on styling my hair and especially in the dreaded "in between" stage I'm in now...I needed some help!
Thanks to Pinterest, I know how to dress. However, I'll never remember all those looks I've "pinned". Do stores let you bring your computer shopping with you? I'm also in love with scarves and found a cool pin with several different ways to tie them. Watch out world...
I have some fantastic recipes and ideas for stuff to do with Will. We made some homemade finger paints for the bathtub tonight. I say paints, I mean paint. We started with one color. And, we borrowed Daddy's shaving cream. Anything to entertain Will! He had a great time and I was pretty pleased to see how happy he was. Didn't have the camera ready; maybe next time!
In about 2 months; I will be hosting the most awesome 2nd birthday party known to Pinterest. Thanks for the culmination of ideas and pictures that got my creative juices going. I'm in full "Sesame Street" mode a full 2 months early...can't wait to blog about that!
Oh, and don't look at my gifts board. Chances are, you could see one in your future!
Have you ever made grilled cheese in your toaster?? I haven't either. But I know how. Thanks, Pinterest!
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