The true meaning of Christmas...errr, life.

I’ve just returned from a harrowing trip to Bass Pro in hopes to get another great picture of Will on Santa’s lap.  Unfortunately, we left without seeing Santa and apparently without our Christmas spirit as well.  On our way home I was honked at, cut off, and almost rear-ended (and, no, I’m not THAT bad of a driver).  In my frustration and attempt to fight back tears, it really got me to thinking…

Christmas has always been one of my favorite holidays (4^th of July wins because that one is big for my family) and I LOVE all the traditions and family and gifts that come along with it.  Lately, I’ve been seeing a lot of facebook posts and hearing a lot of people saying that they’re going to remember the true meaning of Christmas this year and tone things back a bit.  While I understand what they’re going for, I’ve been a little frustrated with it.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about the real meaning of Christmas.  Without CHRIST, there would be no reason for celebrating Christmas or anything else for that matter.  Christ is everything to me and I cannot express my thanks for His coming as a baby to give me everlasting life.

However, I feel that in some way, these posts are saying that people like me who love to decorate and buy and wrap presents don't remember the true meaning of Christmas.  And it simply isn't true!!  I believe you can do both: remember the real meaning AND participate in the traditions this time of year brings.  

My love language is gifts.   This time of year, I love to get and to receive gifts…Christmas is the time of year I get to do what I love the most!!  I love buying for other people and waiting with anticipation while they open.  I love when people take the time to think about me and buy gifts they think I’ll love.  It is the very essence of my love language and completely fills my “love tank” so to speak. 

I don’t feel that my desire to buy and open gifts, spend time with my family, and follow old traditions while creating new takes away from the true meaning of Christmas.  I do it all because Christ did for me.  He gave me the most thoughtful gift of all – salvation.  He gave me my family and my love language.  I don’t think He looks down on me at all because I like to participate in Christmas traditions – religious and not.

 

Part of the joy of Christmas for me is that it’s the time of year (generally) when people are nice, thoughtful, and giving towards others.  I always make it a point to say, “Merry Christmas” to all the checkers at the stores I frequent.  I try to have a dollar or some change ready to put in the Salvation Army’s buckets.  I buy gifts for less fortunate than I because God has blessed my family and we aren’t in need this year.  I think the true meaning of Christmas is that we should be doing these things every day, not just during the Christmas season.  

 

At Bass Pro this morning (the last weekday before Christmas), I went in chatting excitedly with Will about the deer and Santa.  We went down to see Santa and immediately I was baffled by the anti-Christmas spirit everywhere.   I went to get our “Bass Pass” (the ridiculous new system Bass Pro has in place to cut down on wait times – basically it just meant we couldn’t see Santa today).  I couldn’t find where they were located and tapped an Elf on the shoulder to ask.  You should have seen the dirty looks I got from the 50 people in line.  I wasn’t trying to cut; just ask a question.  Christmas Spirit, people.  Let’s be nice!

Then, I had to stand in line to get our “Bass Pass.”  By the time I got to the front, Will was mad and the lady behind the gingerbread house wasn’t in the mood to put up with cranky kids.  We were given the next available Bass Pass (5:30pm) and told to move on.  Wow.  Merry Christmas to you, too!

In the parking lot, I couldn’t get out of my space because of the amount of cars filing up and down the parking lot.  When I finally got a chance to get out, the lady in the spot next to me backed out at the same time I did and starting honking at me.  So, I stopped to let her go (Christmas Spirit, Kristen…remember your Christmas spirit) and almost got rear-ended by the huge truck barreling up the parking lot aisle.

 

By the time I hit 40 hwy, I was shaking so badly I couldn’t tell if it was my hypoglycemia or my near death experiences.  I had $4 left in the entertainment envelope, so I told Will we’d go get McDonalds for lunch.  As I went to turn into the parking lot, the car in front of me was trying to turn the other way and couldn’t for all the cars coming.  So, I was stuck out in traffic for a little bit.  All was well until a car pulled up behind me to turn and started laying on their horn and flipping me off.  As one would expect, they also turned into McDonalds.  Needless to say, we went through the drive-thru because I didn’t think I wanted to cry in front of them.

Now I’m at home and I remember why I do most of my Christmas shopping online and try to be done before Thanksgiving.  Where is the love for this holiday and what it represents??

There is nothing wrong with having a tree, surrounding it with presents, and baking into the late hours of the night.  Nothing.  However, there is something wrong when we forget that our Christmas spirit comes from Christ.  He commands us to treat others with love.  If we can’t do that…especially at Christmas, then we’ve lost the true meaning of life; not just Christmas. 

Bumblebee Costume Tutorial

I’ve never been big on Halloween.  But, I guess when you have kids a lot of things change!!  This year I was so excited to have Will dress up as a cute little bumblebee and to have a beehive themed trunk for our church’s annual trunk or treat.  

A friend of mine had a CUTE bee costume she allowed me to borrow.  Looking at the costume made my heart melt!  The wings and stripes were on a “backpack” type deal and there was the most adorable knitted bee hat I’ve ever seen.  A couple weeks before Halloween, I got the costume out and put it on Will.  Not only would he not leave the hat on longer than 2 seconds; he screamed every time I put the “backpack” on.  

This wasn’t what I was hoping for.  Plan B.

I looked all over the internet (namely through pinterest) for a Bee costume tutorial that my son would wear.  I didn’t find ANYTHING.  

So I decided that when I found a costume that worked for my finicky toddler, I would put the tutorial online.  Here goes…

I bought a black hooded sweatshirt (and pants, not pictured) and some yellow felt.  Like a glutton for punishment, I bought a cheap black stocking cap from WalMart just in case Will changed his mind about hats (he didn't).   

I cut the felt into 1 inch strips.  I cut WAY too many.  You only need about 5 or 6 depending on how big your kiddo is!

I pinned the stripes onto the sweatshirt to make sure they were where I liked them before I attached them. 

 I made sure the stripes matched up in the front too.

Then I found some yellow embroidery thread I already had stashed away in a box downstairs and began to sew the stripes on.  I started with the hood.  It took me 4 hours to hand stitch 3 rows onto the hood of this jacket. 

Then, my dear husband informed me that bees don’t have stripes on their heads.  It only took me 3 minutes to rip out my 4 hours worth of work.  

 By this point, it was the Friday before Halloween.  I needed to figure something out FAST.  I didn’t have time to stitch all these stripes on this costume and take care of my family and other responsibilities. 

 

Thank God for hot glue!

Finished product on my sweet bumblebee.  Now to add wings & an antennae.  I should also add that when I showed this costume to my dad (a real beekeeper), he informed me that bees don’t have stripes on their arms.  Well…this bee does!

I bought a package of pipe cleaners and some little puff thingys at JoAnns.  I cut 2 holes in the hood and fed the pipe cleaners through.  Then I twisted the end of the pipe cleaners together under the hood and on top of the hood (so they would stay standing).

This is before I twisted them together on the outside as well.  Honestly, that was a last minute effort to get the antennae to stand up!

For the wings, I had my Dad shape a wire hanger into the wings.  I bought tulle at JoAnn’s to cover the wire with, but it didn’t work out for me.  So, I took a sock and stretched it over the wire and sewed it at the end.  Mine ended up ripping and I had to go over it with embroidery thread, but it was completely unnoticeable!!  Then I took a piece of black ribbon and tied it around the middle of the wings so that they would gather.  I sewed the ribbon on with black embroidery thread.  I also used two safety pins to hold the wings close to the costume on both sides of the wings.  

This is the finished product!!  Too Cute!

Our “trunk!”

And…

 My sweet little bumblebee!!

Dear Me,

I heard on the radio today about a book coming out soon.  The title escapes me right now, but the book is a compilation of letters written by various celebrities and other people to their 16-year-old selves.  The DJ asked what we would say if we were to write such a letter.  Here is what I would say:  

Dear 16-year-old Self,

I know you think you're on top of the world right now and that life couldn't get much better.  Hold on to that feeling, but know - deep down - that it can (and will) get better. 

Cherish your friends.  Some will stay in your life, but many will go down different roads, and some will leave you.  Take nothing for granted.

Yes...right now you DO know your husband.  Be nice to that sweet Cooper boy and try to remember all the times he called and those socks he bought you for Christmas.  He's a little sore about that...

Your yearning to be accepted will be a lifelong battle you fight.  Stop wasting time making sure your clothes, hair, makeup, and possessions are perfect.  They aren't.  They won't ever be.  And even if they were it wouldn't be enough.

School is easy for you now.  But, try to learn to study.  You will need it in college.

Yes, your car is "reliable." Which in teenager speak means that it's not very pretty.  Hang on.  In about 7 years, you'll get the chance to buy one you like.  But remember...this one's on your dime.

Mom and Dad aren't as dumb as you think they are.  One day, you too will be saying "Were you born in a barn," "Money doesn't grow on trees," "Don't let the bought air out," and "Call me when you get there."  One day, they will be two of your best friends and you will actually enjoy hanging out with them!  I know, right!!  The protected will become the protector and your roles will change greatly over the years, but you will one day thank them for the lessons they taught you. 

Above all, remember that in all of life's crazy changes, there is one constant.  God will never leave you or forsake you.  You'll take Him for granted many times, but He's still there.  Remember true worship stems from gratitude and a humble heart.  Nothing you have is yours.  Nothing you've done have you done on your own.  God has given you amazing  family, friends, talents, and abilities.  Always use them for His glory. 

Sincerely,
Your THIRTY-year-old-self. 
(Yes, you will live to see 30 - and it really isn't THAT old!)

I'm Still Learning

I'm a teacher.  Well, I guess I used to be a teacher.  As a teacher, nothing would frustrate me more than students missing opportunities to learn.

Welllll, the pot's calling the kettle black today.

I've been doing a Bible Study called "Women Making A Difference in Marriage."  This Bible Study follows on the heels of me reading the book called "Finding the Hero in Your Husband."  Add that to "The Excellent Wife," and countless other books I've been reading on marriage.

In all honesty, all these books have left me frustrated.  And a bit mad.  I didn't understand why.  Until today.

A few weeks ago, the Men's Ministry at our church handed out bookmarks to all wives.  The bookmarks said "How to Pray for Your Husband."  The man that handed me mine said, "Here.  You really need this."  It was a joke.  I know it was a joke.  BUT...it made me mad.  I DO pray for my husband.  And, I don't NEED a bookmark to do it.

The whole situation left me angry.  Why is it that the women have to do everything to save marriages.  Where are the men in our families?  Why do I have to be the first to make the changes so that my husband will follow suite?  (I'm not a bit over dramatic, if you can't tell). 

Today I woke up, made some coffee, and checked Facebook.  (All in a day's work in this household).  A friend of mine posted an awesome article from 31 Ministries.

In the article, the woman talks about the unrealistic expectations she had placed on her husband and how it inevitably suffocated, not only him, but their marriage as well.

She says, "Hoping to create my own version of “happily-ever-after,” I became controlling and critical. I thought if I could get JJ to be the husband and dad I wanted him to be, my broken dreams would get put back together."

Yup...that's it.  That's how I feel.  If Daniel could just get his act together; we'd be fine.  (I hope he doesn't read this....)

And then she says, "I also needed to confess my sin of unrealistic expectations and let go of what I thought was my right to “happily-ever-after.”"

Woah...hold the phone.  The "SIN" of unrealistic expectations??  I didn't see that coming at all.  Wow.  This must be more serious than I thought.  And it hit me.  I'm putting all the pressure of our marriage on Daniel so I don't have to face up to my own inadequacies, hurts, and faults.  It's "easier" than having to deal with it. 

I need to be able to come to the place where I realize my expectations are too great; too unrealistic and I learn to turn to God to fulfill those places of my life.  I still don't know exactly how to do that, but I understand now that I'm not being fair to my husband, or myself, by pretending those places are designed to be fulfilled by man. 

Instead, I want this:

"I was also able to accept JJ for who he was and trust God to make him the husband He knew I needed, instead of the one I wanted."

Well, this pot has finally decided to take advantage of this opportunity to learn.  I've been struggling with my unrealistic expectations; not only of my husband, but of my motherhood, and my life in general.  And guess what?  Others fail me ALL THE TIME. 

It's going to be hard.  I'm not good at this.  Nope, not at all.  But God is, and lucky for me...He's bigger than this and He's never failed me yet!

So now, it's out there.  It's in blogger world and I've confessed my sin of unrealistic expectations to God and cyber space (and to my husband!).   So that means I have to do something about it....I have people to be accountable to now. 

So, where do I start??  My Mom always told me to start small; with one thing.  I remember reading in a marital counseling pamphlet (a long time ago...) that whenever you are tempted to get annoyed by your spouse because of something they've done; (aka - left their socks on the floor next to the hamper, etc.) use the opportunity to instead be thankful that that person is in your life.  I may find myself grumbling "I'm thankful, I'm thankful" as I pick up socks, etc.  BUT, it will get easier.  It will get to the point that I pick up a pair of socks and smile as I think about the man that fills those socks and where he is and what he's doing right then.  May I remember to pray for him and to be thankful for him in ALL circumstances. 

My New Addiction...

I admit it; I'm addicted to Pinterest.  A week ago I'd never even heard of the site.  This week?  I've been on it everyday.  Sometimes multiple times a day.  I'm big into justifying my addictions, so here is a list of what I have learned from Pinterest. 

I now know how to do my hair thanks to some awesome online tutorials I never would have found without Pinterest.  This is big for me.  I've never been big on styling my hair and especially in the dreaded "in between" stage I'm in now...I needed some help!

Thanks to Pinterest, I know how to dress.   However, I'll never remember all those looks I've "pinned".  Do stores let you bring your computer shopping with you?  I'm also in love with scarves and found a cool pin with several different ways to tie them.  Watch out world...

I have some fantastic recipes and ideas for stuff to do with Will.  We made some homemade finger paints for the bathtub tonight.  I say paints, I mean paint.  We started with one color.  And, we borrowed Daddy's shaving cream.  Anything to entertain Will!  He had a great time and I was pretty pleased to see how happy he was.  Didn't have the camera ready; maybe next time!

In about 2 months; I will be hosting the most awesome 2nd birthday party known to Pinterest.  Thanks for the culmination of ideas and pictures that got my creative juices going.  I'm in full "Sesame Street" mode a full 2 months early...can't wait to blog about that!

Oh, and don't look at my gifts board.  Chances are, you could see one in your future!

Have you ever made grilled cheese in your toaster??  I haven't either.  But I know how.  Thanks, Pinterest!

Turning 30

I’m turning 30 in less than 5 days and, honestly, I’m less than thrilled about this momentous occasion in my life.  I’m not disappointed in my life, and, as my dad loves to remind me (and my mom), it’s better than the alternative.  However, there’s just something about leaving my 20’s behind.  They’ve been good to me.  I traveled to Europe, graduated from college (twice), got married, had a baby, etc.  I know that those of you who have already reached this milestone will tell me that I’ve worked myself up over nothing, but in my last 5 days of my 20’s…I think I’ll wallow a little bit longer. 

About a week ago I turned on my computer and on MSN’s homepage there was an article about how a woman’s metabolism virtually disappears when she turns 30.  Two days later, Daniel and I went out for ice cream.  He ordered a child-sized sundae.  Me?  I ordered the biggest one they had.  Apparently I don’t have much longer before my metabolism is shot.  I have to eat all I can before that happens, right?  So it seems to continue with the 30^th celebrations…I’ve already been out to lunch and I have several more meals to go before I’m done celebrating the big 3-0.  Better get it in now.  After Monday, I won’t be able to eat any more!!

So, as I’ve been trying to cope with the approaching day, I’ve come up with a list of 30 things; 15 things I’ve done before my 30’s and 15  things that I’d like to do before I’m 40.  Enjoy (and, please, hold me to these things!!)!!

Before 30…

1.    
  Graduated college

2.       Received my masters

3.       Married my best friend

4.       Had the best, cutest baby boy in the entire world (no bias)

5.       Traveled to Europe (Italy, Austria, Germany, Holland)

6.       Traveled to Asia (Taiwan, Thailand, Nepal, and India (for about 30 seconds)).

7.       Traveled to Central America (Nicaragua)

8.       Traveled to the Bahamas (via cruise)

9.       Obtained my teaching certificate

10.   Traveled to 30 of the 50 states

11.   Never broken a bone (except a toe & a fractured ankle)

12.   Taught High School English/Spanish for 5 years

13.   Marched in the Rose Bowl Parade (and the Citrus Bowl parade, but that’s not quite as cool!)

14.   Watched Mennonites water ski

15.   Modeled a dress on the runway (when I was 5 and again when I was 28!)

Before 40…

1.       Have a piece of my writing published

2.       Travel to at least 10 more of the 50 states

3.       Become debt free (so close…)

4.       Travel back to Europe – this time with my husband!

5.       Drive a Zamboni…I have always wanted to do this.  Anybody able to hook me up??

6.       Take a cooking class

7.       Read all of the classics on the Barnes & Noble classics list. 

8.       Custom build/design a house with my hubby. (preferably with some land)

9.       Have the equipment to and know how to brew/make my own espresso & coffee drinks at home!

10.   Eat/cook healthier (because my metabolism will be non-existent – right??)

11.   Learn to knit/crochet

12.   Have baby #2…if it doesn’t happen before I’m 40, it’s not happening!!

13.   Try all the recipes in my Pioneer Woman cookbook – even if they have bones.

14.   Teach a college class

15.   Read through the Bible

Held

I almost never listen to the radio in my car.  I have a 6 disc changer and normally listen to the same 6 cd’s most every time I drive.  Today, as I was in my car on my way to run some errands, I decided to turn on K-Love.  I listened to some songs & a news update.  I was about ready to turn the cd back on when Natalie Grant’s song “Held” came on.  I have always love Natalie Grant, especially this song.  However, today I really listened to the words and was in tears by the time Will & I reached Sam’s parking lot.  

I’ve struggled in my relationship with God for about 6 months now.  I feel like I’m in the toughest spot I’ve ever been in and I don’t really know how to get out.  I’ve developed this attitude toward God that he has put me in tough situations and it really isn’t fair.  Deep inside I know that other people have things worse than I do, but I get mad at God that things don’t get better when I pray.  

Honestly, I feel it’s become worse since I had Will.  When he cries or is sick, or I just don’t know what’s wrong; I want to fix it so badly that I’ll plead with God to make it stop.  Sometimes because I just need silence instead of cries, but sometimes it’s out of an honest mother’s heart that cannot stand to see her child in pain.  When God doesn’t respond to my prayers and make the cries or the hurts stop; I get mad.  I think “Why is God doing this?”

The last week, Will and I have passed just about every kind of symptom back and forth to each other.  To be honest, I’m not even sure I could tell you what either one of us has had…we’ve had so many symptoms.  One of our symptoms is a croupy cough.  This cough keeps Will awake and I’m pretty sure it hurts/scares him because he’ll have a coughing fit and start crying which prompts the coughing to start right back up again.  It breaks my heart to hear this.  I would sit in our bedroom holding the monitor to my cheek and cry.  I would beg and plead with God to make it stop so he could sleep.  Then I’d get mad 10 minutes later when Will was still crying and coughing in the other room.  

Then it was my turn.  The symptoms passed to me and I’ve had a really rough go of it the past two days.  I was grocery shopping yesterday and got sick at the grocery store.  Had to leave a cart full of groceries – take my 18 month old to the public restroom with me – and be sick.  It was terrible.  I was mad at God…why couldn’t he let me get home first.  Why let this happen in the worst timing??

So, I’m listening to this song and I heard the words “Who told us we’d be rescued?”  And then “The promise was when everything fell, we’d be held.”  Wow.  God did not promise me that he was my quick fix to all life’s problems.  He promised me that he’d always be with me when things around me seemed to be falling apart. It's a heck of a promise...one I need to remember in lieu of becoming angry at God.