Over the River and Through the Woods....

....to Grandmother's house we go.  This Friday, Will & I packed up and headed to Bolivar to visit my Grandpa who was in the Intensive Care Unit following a bad fall on Tuesday.  What started as a simple fall has resulted in some pretty serious complications and my Grandpa is currently in the ICU in Springfield, MO in a medically induced coma and breathing with the help of a ventilator. 

As I was driving through snow, ice, and rain to see him; I had a lot of time to think.  I thought about both of my grandpas and the differences in both and the lessons they have taught me over the course of my life.

I think to outsiders, My Grandpa Stanley could have appeared to be a gruff man; he didn't always say a whole lot and he was very opinionated.  However, when it came to his grandchildren, he melted quicker than a popsicle on the 4th of July.  I always spent a week of my summers with them in their house by the lake.  We did all the lake stuff - fishing, tubing, swimming, etc.  He drove a semi and I loved to sit on his lap and "drive" the semi and "talk" on the CB radio.  My Grandma always said only I could have convinced Grandpa to drive the boat to the Pizza Hut (a 15 minute drive; an almost 2 hour boat ride) just to "park" at their dock.  He loved to tickle me and I loved to laugh with him.  Once, he showed up at a craft show my parents were at, picked me up in his semi, and drove me to his house.  Sounds simple, but I can't tell you how special I felt to be with him - just me.  When he passed away, I was devastated.  He'd been sick, but I don't believe anything ever really prepares you for the end.  I had never experienced death this close before and it hurt in places I didn't realize I had.  Death broke my heart in June of 2001.  How often do I look at my husband and son and ache that they'll never meet my Grandpa Stanley.  I can't help but imagine they would love him and there's no doubt that my Grandpa would have LOVED his great-grandchildren.  I still miss him and can't help but think of him every time I smell someone smoking a pipe!!!

My Grandpa Chilcutt doesn't know a stranger.  Saying that he loves to talk would be an understatement.  In my almost thirty years on this earth, I've learned all I need to know about "good 'ol boys," "sodie pop," and "gali-vanting around" from him.  He's a true family man in every sense of the word.  Family is very important to him and I've never seen a man more devoted to his wife than my Grandpa.  They married on Valentine's Day almost 60 years ago and I truly believe she's more his Valentine today than she was then.  Sometimes, he used to scare me when I was little.  Often, when I spend a week with them in the summers, my Grandma would get called in to work and I would be at home alone with Grandpa.  While I probably didn't say two words to him, he'd fill in the silent spaces and once, I vividly recall having ice cream for dinner with him.  Shhh...don't tell Grandma (or my mom!).  He used to drive a brown, 4-door truck.  This truck had one of those horns that played songs.  You know, like revelry?  I loved that horn.

Some of the most important life lessons I've learned were from my Grandpas.  I learned to love my family, love Jesus, and to find a man that loves me more than life itself from my Grandpa Chilcutt.  I learned to enjoy life, work hard, and that, sometimes, it's okay to have my own opinion from my Grandpa Stanley. 

Two very different men, but I love them both so very much and without them my life would be so different.  How blessed I am to have and to have had such influences in my life.

Last night, in the ICU waiting room, my mom told me the sweetest story.  She told me that when my dad was in the hospital a couple years ago, my mom told the nurse that they had been married for 33 years and my dad had better be okay because it wasn't long enough.  She said the nurse looked very surprised and said, "Really?"  Mom told her that it wasn't; that she was praying for 33 more years and 33 more after that because it wasn't enough.

I think am understanding that more and more; not just with my husband and not just with life and death.  In some circumstances; no length of time is enough.  

I'm back at my home tonight thinking and praying for my Grandpa; feeling very helpless and very far away.  I want him to know how much I love him and how he has to be okay because 83 years just isn't enough.