IAM2BZ

I love reading license plates on the cars in front of me.  I like trying to figure them out and get really frustrated when I can't.  I remember when I was young, my dad said that if he ever had personalized license plates, he would have them say IAM2BZ (I am too busy).  It's funny, I haven't forgotten it, and unfortunately, those could also be my new plates. 

I've had a really rough semester.  The fact that I'm referring to time in semesters is indicative of some of my stress and busyness.  I've had to adjust to being a working mom without getting rid of any of the responsibilities of being a mom & wife.  I know women have been doing this for years, but I was not prepared for it at all.  I thought it would be easier than it was, and I honestly didn't think it would be so hard to be away from my son for 3.5 hours everyday.  

I have created a schedule to deal with my new situation.  We get up around 8.  We eat breakfast.  I shower & get ready while Will watches Sesame Street at around 9.  I finish up housework from 10-11.  At 11:30 Will & I eat lunch.  Will takes a nap at 12.  I leave for work at 12:30.  It works pretty well...until something doesn't happen.  A couple of weeks ago, Will was sick.  He didn't want to be held, he didn't want to be put down.  He didn't want to eat, but would cry because I'm sure he was hungry.  He didn't want to sleep, but was so tired he cried all the time.  My schedule ceased working. 

I actually got mad about it.  Kids can sense your emotions better than you can sometimes, so I'm sure Will knew I was mad and that's probably why he kept crying.  He messed up my schedule.  How dare he!!

My SBA was back with a vengeance.  Nothing went right and I was mad at my family, mad at God, and I took it out on people that didn't deserve it. 

One day I was trying to have a quiet time at the kitchen table with Will & Maya playing underneath.  I was reading in Matthew and I suddenly remembered my "resolution" to Consider it All Joy.  I've been emotional about a lot this semester and my attitude stinks!  I haven't even been trying to see the joy in everything.  I've been existing and trying to function and do everything in the small amount of time I have. 

Therefore, I chose then and there to change my attitude.  God has me in certain situations I'd rather not be in for reasons that are unknown to me right now.  But they aren't unknown to him.  What if I'm missing out on something great because I have an SBA??  So, I confessed my terrible attitude, lack of patience, and everything else God already knew and resolved to do better. 

The result??  While I still struggle sometimes, my schedule doesn't matter so much to me.  I'd rather sit and watch Sesame Street with Will and leave the beds unmade.  I'd rather sit and build blocks, roll balls, sing songs, and read books that worry about loading my dishwasher or folding laundry.  Sure, all these things need to and will eventually get done.  But there are more important things in life. 

Two nights ago, Will had a stuffy nose and couldn't breathe through it very well.  He woke up several times, I think, scared because he couldn't breathe.  At first, I became annoyed.  I had work to do; he should be sleeping so I could get it done.  Then, I remembered my decision and my attitude.  I took a deep breath, said a prayer, and went in to his room.  I picked him up and rocked with him until he fell back asleep.  As I was holding him, I noticed that his legs have grown too long for me to hold him like I used to while sitting in the rocker.  I was struck by how fast time is going.  How many more opportunities will I have to hold my baby and love on him when he's sick??  And how many more opportunities will I have to load the dishwasher and do laundry??

Thanks, God, for giving me second, third, fourth...chances to try again.  Thanks for helping me see that I should never be too busy for my family and friends.  Consider it all joy my friends!!